Last modified: August 2, 2019
Richard Honaker M.D.View Full Profile
Are you thinking if you should you tell your partner about your past sex stories or even your entire sex history? Everyone has different sex experiences. Some have very wild and complicated, while others have what others call vanilla sex.
Once in a while sex stories or your entire sex history could have an effect on your present relationship. There are some reasons why you should keep your previous shocking and scandalous sex escapades to yourself. In other cases though, it’s fine and even beneficial to share personal sex secrets with someone else.
According to a relationship therapist, sharing sex history with each other will bring a stronger emotional closeness for the both of you because it shows that you both have nothing to hide. It will strengthen the emotional and physical connection between the two of you.
It could also become helpful in terms of sex preferences and boundaries. If your partner, for example, wants you to do something that you’re not comfortable with because of a bad experience in the past, it will serve as an explanation for your reservations. Your sex stories from you past can bring enlightenment to your partner about some of your proclivities that your partner finds unusual.
Here are things to remember when you’re ready to let your partner know your general sex history or specific sex stories.
Choose the Right Time and Place
There may be advantages to being absolutely transparent, but it’s also crucial that you choose the right time and place for you to tell your sex history. If your partner didn’t ask you about your sex stories and you just feel that you need to tell him/her, make sure that you are at the correct stage in the relationship.
There is no standard for the correct stage, it depends on the kind of relationship that you have. It would be best if you make a list of the pros and cons so you can determine the benefits of having this kind of sex discussion with your partner. Another recommendation is to consider your partner’s personality.
Some people maybe understanding of their partner’s sex history or past relationships, while there are also those who may be sensitive and could not handle information about your sex stories in the past.
Once you’ve already decided to tell your sex stories to your partner, figure out when would be the right time to share your sex history with him. Think of a stable setting since it will be a one-time-only discussion. Don’t wait until a negative situation could happen. If the info will make your partner become jealous or stressed out, then it would be best to not share it at all.
Edit Details from some Sex Stories
It’s very important to consider how much detail you should edit because this type of information is sensitive and may seem offensive to others. Observe and try to gauge how much sex talk or personal sex stories and overall sex history your partner can handle.
Graphic detailing of your intimate moments with someone else could become hurtful, so only mention some information. Don’t share too many details, such as familiar names. Also remember to exclude wild and crazy sex activities if the other person involved in you sex stories is one of your partner’s friends or acquaintances.
Don’t Lie About Your Sex History
Lying could sometimes appear like a smart way to avoid an explosive argument or dodge an uncomfortable circumstance, but it can blow up in your face or have a significant effect on the present.
Some relationships end because one or both parties feel like the other is hiding something or have a secret life that he/she will never be a part of. It’s most ideal that you talk with your partner and let them know where you were emotionally at that period of your life. It will help him/her to understand you better.
Listen to Their Sex Confessions Too
Your partner may want to share some sex secrets and sex history details from his/her past with you too. Don’t judge. It would be much better if you could make a judgement free zone where it could work both ways. Remind yourself that these sex talks or sex stories and general sex history were already in the past. Don’t condemn your partner for the choices that were made.
What is your sex history, and how will you tell your partner about it?
Submitted by Dr. Richard Honaker: http://www.independentmedicalexaminer.com/IME-Directory/Virginia/Dr-Richard-A-Honaker-MD.asp
Disclaimer: This article provides general information and is not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease or medical condition. If you require specific advice, please consult one of our medical professionals through the app. However, in case of an emergency, please call 911.